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Life of Brya
(the livejournal version)
Yesterday I felt like a new, different person. I was doing things,… 
Aug 26th, 2009 12:04 am
redgreengrapes
Yesterday I felt like a new, different person. I was doing things, taking initiative and responsibility, talking to people -- holding a small audience (members at varying degrees of "acquaintance" and "friend") for a small story, even. I was capable and excited, and at the end of the day I was drained, I really don't know why. Maybe it's because it's so different, more active, from what I'd been doing the week before.

Today I was a bit back to my old habits of putting things off. Hopefully that is temporary. It had a back-of-the-throat taste of stagnation, helplessness, dullness. Still, I can think of a few things that I attempted to meet head-on rather than file away in "deal with this later".

Sum up the first two days of classes: I am a mix of excited, comfortable, and anxious. I'm a big bad senior now but I'm taking big bad senior classes, navigating all those interpersonal relations again, making to-do lists in my head and populating mental diagrams of people, places, times, and tasks. This, currently, is an experience I love to live for.

Man, though; a crush (and, really, any other degree of personal attachment) is such a hard thing to give up on. Emotional-mind feels like I'm going to miss something big, but rational-mind thinks there's already nothing to miss.

((exhales))

Anyone else starting a new school term or otherwise coming up on (or recovering from ^^) a turning point & want to share? (mine feels so big for many reasons I won't share here/yet)

P.S.: I keep looking for the post-icon-change pulldown at the bottom of the composition page. And how long has it been since LJ moved that?
Comments 
Aug 26th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
Wishing you a great school year!
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